


Still Remembering

by Carmenlire



Series: Tumblr Prompts [21]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Happy Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-15 06:07:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16057115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carmenlire/pseuds/Carmenlire
Summary: It takes a few minutes but his suspicions are confirmed. He looks up at Isabelle, frowning.“Alec has amnesia,” he says.Nodding, Izzy asks, “Do you have any idea how long it will be before his memory recovers?”“I have no idea,” Magnus murmurs, “But however long it is, it’s going to be interesting.”Or, Alec knows Magnus at the molecular level.





	Still Remembering

**Author's Note:**

> Dialogue prompt by Anonymous: "I know you love me, but I'm sick of lying when I say it back."

Alec wakes up, groggy and disoriented. Everything sounds like it’s muffled, like he’s underwater. He feels like he’s been floating but he can’t quite remember why or for how long.

He wouldn’t be surprised if there was a giant question mark floating above his head.

He starts to open his eyes only to slam them shut, wincing as the bright overhead light sears into his retinas. Nausea hovers in the back of his throat for a minute and he swallows convulsively. Luckily, someone must notice because the light dims almost instantly.

It feels like long moments before Alec comes back to the surface. Noise is getting clearer, sharper, and he can now make out the murmur of voices, the rattling of objects across the way. Distantly, he feels someone moving cautious fingers through his hair, the touch light and ephemeral and barely there. He doesn’t know who it is but he relaxes instinctively into the hand, letting out a pained noise when he moves his head a little too much and his migraine strengthens. He'd know the feel of an Institute infirmary cot anywhere and he wonders distantly what the hell he'd done to get himself here.

Slowly, his lashes sweep up and the first thing he sees is a stranger. 

And what a stranger it is. _Goddamn_.

The man has dark hair and deep brown eyes. He’s wearing makeup and his shirt is straining over impressive shoulders. The pain medication combined with the sight in front of him has completely ruined his usually iron-clad filter.

He’s only half aware of the words leaving his mouth as he blurts out, “Holy shit, you’re hot.”

The man looks startled before he’s laughing, the sound just shy of hysterical relief, blinking to clear his eyes. “I love you so much, darling.”

“I love you, too,” Alec says, though he’s confused even as the words leave his mouth. It’s like the words were a reflex. _Who is this man?_

Alec’s gaze catches on the person standing next to Magnus and he smiles as Izzy pats his leg. “Hey, Iz.”

“Hey, _Hermano_ ,” she says, smiling gently. “You gave us quite a scare, you know. Do you remember anything?”

Alec thinks, squinting a little before finally replying, “No. I don’t remember anything. What happened?”

The man chimes in, still gently carding through Alec’s hair. He knows he should tell him to stop-- Alec has a personal bubble the size of an ocean-- but it feels too good.

“You were walking home and a demon caught you unaware when you took a shortcut through an alley. You must have been preoccupied because he got in a lucky blow before you dispatched him. Unfortunately, his parting shot involved throwing you several feet and you must have hit your head when you landed. You’ve been out of it for a few hours, Alexander.”

It takes Alec a long time to process the information he’s just been given but there’s one thought that raises to the front.

He smiles at Magnus, “I like it when you call me Alexander,” he says, tinge of surprise to his voice. “No one else is allowed to say my name except you,” he declares.

Magnus still looks fond, amusement lurking in his eyes, but he tilts his head a little, confused. “I wasn’t under the impression anyone else did, dear.”

He exchanges a look with Izzy that Alec can’t decipher, though he doesn’t try very hard. He’s very sleepy.

“I’m going to rest, cute guy. Please don’t stop playing with my hair.”

True to his word, Alec falls back asleep moments later despite the pain singing up his back and stinging his temples.

He doesn’t see that look between Izzy and the man grow alarmed. After just a moment to let those words sink in, blue magic spreads over Alec, centering on his head, trying to find a reason for the strange words.

He can’t help but smile as Alec reacts to the magic, even in his sleep, breathing growing deeper as he relaxes further into the infirmary’s lumpy mattress.

It takes a few minutes but his suspicions are confirmed. He looks up at Isabelle, frowning.

“Alexander has amnesia,” he says.

Nodding, Izzy asks, “Do you have any idea how long it will be before his memory recovers?”

“I have no idea,” Magnus murmurs, “But however long it is, it’s going to be interesting.”

 

Now that Magnus knows to look for it, he can see Alec’s confusion when Magnus speaks to him with familiarity. While it’s gratifying to realize that Alec knows him at a deeper level, frustration is mounting.

He misses _his_ Alec and while it’s entertaining to see Alexander blush when he calls him darling, or to catch him staring over lunch, Magnus wants to see the gleam of recognition in Alec’s eyes, wants Alec to take his hand and pull him closer.

Part of him wonders how Alec is keeping it all together. If Magnus didn’t know that Alec had no idea who he was, he’d never suspect a thing. It seems like he remembers everything else _except_ for Magnus but he just rolls with the punches. He’s never looked uncomfortable or wary when Magnus has been near, fortunately, and that’s allowed Magnus to stay at his side.

The funniest thing is when Alec responds to his _I love yous_ on seeming autopilot. Magnus says it and without fail, every time, Alec says it back. Immediately after he does, his brow wrinkles like he’s asking himself why he’s just done that. Whenever that happens, Magnus has to bite back his grin, though it’s adorable and fills him with warmth and muted joy to see Alec’s reaction.

It’s been a little over a day since the accident and they’re in Alec’s office. He’s healed physically-- it’s just the damned amnesia that won’t leave him.

Magnus stands near the fireplace as Alec looks through a few reports. Nothing too taxing, but he’d been itching to get caught up and Magnus had agreed if he could supervise. He didn’t want Alec working himself to exhaustion when his brain was still mending.

As he looks over at Alec, he spends minutes cataloging each feature, reveling in the warmth that comes over him at having Alec in his life. The feeling is nothing new but it still catches him sometimes, the sheer love he has for this boy. He loves observing Alec in any and all of his incarnations but this one-- the quiet and stern Head of the Institute facade-- is one of his favorites.

“I love you,” Magnus says softly into the quiet room.

“I--” Alec breaks off, letting out a deep sigh. He puts his sheath of papers down and looks at Magnus with a peering glare, like he’s trying to see inside of him.

'I know you love me, but I'm sick of lying when I say it back."

Ah, finally. Magnus smiles a little at Alec’s expression. He looks nervous, unsure, and it takes just a minute before Magnus is crossing the room until he’s right in front of him.

Tilting his head, Magnus asks, “And are you lying?”

Sighing again, this time exasperatedly, Alec runs a hand through his hair, wincing when he brushes against the back.

“That’s the thing,” he says. “I--I don’t know you but every time you say it, it feels real and I say it back without thinking and _that_ feels real. I can’t love a stranger but I feel like I’ve known you my whole life. Bizarre, right,” he asks sardonically.

Magnus reaches out, cupping Alec’s cheek and brushing a thumb against his cheekbones in slow, sweeping movements. “ If you don’t know me then why didn’t you say something earlier, Alexander?”

Jerking a shoulder in an approximation of a shrug, Alec replies as dull heat climbs up his neck. “I don’t know. I want to know you. You obviously know me and no one else acts like it’s weird that we’re so close. I thought that if I told you, it would ruin things? It’s felt like a dream since I woke up and I didn’t want you to disappear.”

“Darling, you could never ruin anything. I promise that I’m not going anywhere,” he continues with a smile. “Now, I’d say that if it doesn’t feel like you’re lying when you tell me you love me, then I’d believe that.” Gently prodding, he asks, “You don’t remember anything about me or why you might be feeling like this?”

Biting his lip, Alec hesitantly starts, “I feel like something’s missing, like the missing puzzle piece is just out of reach. I know I feel comfortable with you and that I like seeing you. That’s about it, though,” he ends apologetically.

“You have nothing to apologize for, Alec. Would you like me to tell you the truth? I don’t want you to have a coronary, though,” he adds, pausing.

“I think I’ll be okay. I just want to know.”

“Okay, then. And if I told you we were engaged?”

Alec’s eyes widen and his gaze turns appreciative as he gives Magnus a once over. “Holy shit,” he breathes.

Magnus barks out a laugh, surprised. “Holy shit, indeed, darling.”

Alec is quiet for a minute and Magnus gives him time to sort his thoughts out. It’s just a moment later that Alec’s clearing his throat and Magnus comes back to the present, curious as it looks like Alec is staring so intently at him.

“Yes?”

“I keep thinking about your eyes. It feels like I’m forgetting something about them.”

Magnus’s lips quirk and he considers Alec. He has no reason to think Alec will react badly but, still. Shadowhunter instincts and all.

Cautiously, Magnus lets his glamour drop and he doesn’t know why he entertained even a second of uncertainty as he sees the awe come over Alec’s face.

“Beautiful,” he whispers and Magnus is thrown back to the very first time he’d let Alec see a piece of him that no one else did. This boy never stops surprising him.

“Thank you, darling,” he says softly, voice just above a whisper. Alec raises a hand, places it so that his thumb is at his eye’s corner.

Magnus doesn’t know how long they stay like that, the office quiet around them as Alec gazes adoring and wondering at Magnus and Magnus returns the look in spades.

 

Two days later, Alec wakes up before Magnus. They’re in his room at the Institute of all things and it’s just like that that Alec remembers. There’s a disorienting moment where he reconciles his life with the past few days and as he looks over at Magnus sleeping on his stomach and drooling on his pillow, he falls in love all over again.

He’s sure that his lapse in memory had to be exhausting but Magnus had never faltered. He’d given Alec space and time when he’d needed it but had always remained close.

He moves forward, kissing Magnus at his hairline. It’s the first time they’ve had any real contact in three days. Magnus frowns a little, settling deeper into the bed. In stark contrast to how he sleeps at home, he’s now in a shirt and yoga pants, perfectly covered up for Alec’s delicate sensibilities.

Alec leans down, kissing Magnus’s cheek, the corner of his mouth, his chin. Gradually Magnus wakes and he opens eyes devoid of a glamour, blinking sleepily.

“Alexander,” he mumbles.

“Hey babe,” Alec says.

Magnus freezes, eyes opening completely, suddenly alert. He looks over Alec and relief sweeps through him at the recognition he finally sees in those beautiful hazel eyes.

“You remember?”

“I remember,” Alec confirms. “I remember how patient you were with me and that you dealt with the whole amnesia thing like a champ.”

Magnus shuffles forward until he can tuck his head under Alec’s chin. Being so close after just a few days apart has relief singing through him, he feels at home for the first time since he got the call that Alec was in the Institute’s infirmary.

“It was pretty easy,” he mumbles, breath hot against Alec’s neck. “You might not have known who I was but your subconscious did. It made it much easier than if you would’ve backed away from me and treated me like an outsider.”

“Never,” Alec whispers. “I’ll always know you, Magnus. You’re the love of my life and the light of my soul. There’s not a universe where you don’t mean everything to me, even if I’m temporarily out of it.”

Magnus lets the words soak into him, warm up bones that had started growing chilly at Alec’s continued amnesia. A weight had been settling in his chest that Alec might never remember him and they’d have to start over, all of their memories only Magnus’s to know.

He is indescribably happy that Alec’s back with him.

“I love you, Alexander,” Magnus murmurs, kissing Alec’s deflect rune.

Alec moves, getting a little more comfortable, rubbing his chin on top of Magnus’s head. “I love you too, baby.”

The two of them stay in bed just a few hours more, reconnecting, recharging from the past few days.

Both breathe a sigh of relief as the missing piece of themselves slot back together.

**Author's Note:**

> Catch me on tumblr @carmenlire! I'm always accepting prompts :)


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